You Are Here Aren’t You

Third day of spring in Sunny South Africa-whoop, whoop. Ange is awake and sitting in her second office. This office is usually only used in the warmth of summer but today the weather is calling for Ange to join it. Our patio is huddled by the veggie garden which has started to show life and a cat or two that lays peacefully next to Ange on a cushioned chair.

What should have been a difficult drive to work dodging SA’s great drivers? Working in a busy office, whilst working the shitty trip home rushes through your mind also wondering at what time will work allow you to leave to get home-it is Friday after all.

I think we all know that Covid is here to stay and we do certainly understand that our lives have been affected by it in some way. I am Anges office tea lady today she shouts and I am there in an instant to help with the bits and pieces.

I am also the DJ and today we are reliving the sixties via U-Tube. So the music volume has no limits today when a song that Ange loves come on I hear volume please and so the louder the better. An extremely emotional song plays it is from the movie ‘A Star is Born’. I cry and I cry because I know that he took his own life so that the love of his life could be happy and with him as a drunk she could not be. As usual the video camera is out and Ange is the director I do not know she is filming me but after my episode I watch it and once again for me this is quite emotional.

I became emotional because Ange sat at my side each day asking that God to please spare me because she needs me. We spoke about my tears today and I told her that I do not bring what I should to help her with the strains of our finances. This is where I relate to the movie that he cannot give anymore and so he decided to leave. (I will not be leaving anytime soon).

Ange then plays me a recording of our Felix which used to purr so loud she loved him and his purrs. One difficult day whilst I slept she brought the recording to my bedside and played it for me. I then asked if I had any reaction to this, all she said was;

I am here aren’t I. Wow I then thought that is so deep and so awesome. Thank you Felix for perhaps helping me to get through.

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