Now or Never

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do but by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”-

Mark Twain

Easier said than done of course. When we are young and have started a new phase in our life, one that will carry us to the end. Yes your plans may not be how you wanted them to go but you have entered that phase. This is how it is and changes once the kids come are difficult to be able to do.

A youngster may say the following; I have a job now and I earn good money, I have a good home I have a car. I have met a great woman and we will be married in the next two years-well that is the plan and I am sure we will.

Back to Mark Twain’s quote. ‘Twenty years from now…’ Whilst growing up you always had a dream, a dream you wanted to do before you died. I will do it later when I have the money and when this and that and, and, and.

Let me tell you what I know from living or my understanding in life. If you do not do what you always wanted to it will disappear and so will that dream or desire. Once older you will be sore as you understand that the one thing you wanted to do has too disappeared. The car you own, the house is in anyway not yours you do not own it the bank does. The great job you have may be a job you cannot stand after a few years. If you did follow you heart and do that one thing you always wanted you would have done it and time would have passed. Now your mind has changed about the job and the fancy car and the large house. A car does not have to be fancy neither a home they need to be comfortable and safe, a good place for you. Later once you earn the big bucks you may be able to get that dream home and car, you will be able to afford it and life won’t be as difficult once you sign those papers because you know so much more.

I have no clue of what my dreams were-that one thing I have always wanted to do. If there was one or two or three of them they disappeared in the accident. I am okay with that I don’t lose sleep over things I cannot have or want. There is one great adventure Ange has wanted since we met. I did not know of this when I woke (loss of long term memory). I did promise to do it for her but I just did not get to it or perhaps I simply fucked things up and so did not keep to my promise or my word. Having said this if it weren’t for the accident I may have gotten to it but no one will actually know.

The one wish she has always wanted was to eat a hot dog in the streets of New York. Training for a marathon was difficult there were many challengers I had to face. Running my first half marathon to be able to actually qualify for the NYM a full marathon was extremely difficult. When I got to about the eighteen km mark my broken body awakened and started to slow me down. All my injured parts tried their hardest but they could not stop me. They could not because I made Ange a promise and now I was going to do it.

Two years after my accident I got Ange to NYC and she ate her hot dog we chose a perfect spot right on the banks of the East river. With a great aircraft carrier behind us and the city before us we sat on a bench and I watched her eyes in joy as she ate her hot dog.

What I am saying I guess is that we should never give up on a dream. We should hold it close to us and work harder to achieve it. If we do not as we lay on out death bed moments from leaving the body we currently are using we may have one great regret. It could be that one dream you did not do. You could have but you didn’t as we close our eyes for the last time I wonder if it is only because we want to put an end to the dream…I wonder.


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