We are All The Same but So, So Different

I have often wondered if aliens landed on earth and they were assigned a task from their superiors; we need one hundred humans. You have one cosmic year to select these individuals. We will be relocating them to planet Zarfoo they will reproduce and so we shall be monitoring their progress.

The ship lands and so the chosen aliens start on their simple task to collect one hundred of us. A cosmic year is approximately six months on earth. After many months and a long discussion on who they will select becomes an alien fist fight in the captain’s cockpit. Fuck it Dumb asses says the now irritated slimy slog captain; how hard can it be just grab eighty world leaders, male and female, ten  strong, well-built good looking male and females. Ten youngsters and let’s get the whoosh out of here.

We did exactly that captain we grabbed eighty world leaders separated them into four sections twenty each. Ten strong well-built and good looking all of them we put in one sector. We put the ten youngsters in the one section but we have a problem. Well what is the problem then.

The whole project has collapsed it’s a fucking mess! What do you mean it is a mess? Well sir the world leaders sector is on flames and most of them are dead, there are no kids left and the strong good looking ten have halved the few left are skinny and so fat they can’t move anymore.

Okay let us start with the strong group what happened there. Well some of the men lost their muscles some ate all the fucking food stealing from the others and beating the shit out of the smaller ones. A few of the men fought each other some died whilst fighting over the sexy females. The remaining females are pregnant and none of the men are owning up to who the father is. There are a few that have escaped we only found out where the one was when it was too late. The others are gone!

Huh exclaimed the captain! How. Well apparently one of the strong guys was an escape artist, he let a few of the others go he then unlocked all the doors of the leaders where they mixed into one group. He then opened the kid’s room where a man by the name of ‘Hannibal’ entered.

Apparently you cannot put all the leaders into one room because it is a bun fight. The leader of the  USA, Soviet union, Germany, Switzerland, Congo, France, Britain, china and many others simply don’t’ get along. Many formed coalitions with each other but that failed. A few of the leaders were so corrupt they stole and sold everything supplied to these humans for their survival. The last straw was a leader from a country called Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe he told Britain’s leader and many others to go back to Europe and leave his country alone! They not even on earth anymore we just don’t understand.

I’m confused said the captain what happened to the kids? Well apparently on earth there is a thing called ADD and we don’t have any Play station games or cell phones so we found a few of them in the control room. Oh by the way sir we are no longer in planet earth we are apparently part of a ‘game’ the kids have taken over the ship. Fuck!

‘Who’s Hannibal?’

Well he ate the rest of the kid’s sir.


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