Running in Circles

Another year another week another day running in circles, why running, why circles? Tired but still running well its simple really-stop running. Once one has stopped the rush of running the circle effect may too dissolve and become a way forward.

This month is once again Brain injury month a difficult time for me? Not really simply another year gone by. A great part of the reminder it sends out is that all who have fallen to a brain injury can say well I am alive. I have made it through another year. I have had a good year I have waded through Covid and I have understood more about me.

As I am reminded of another year living with a brain injury I can look back and see where I fell also I can see where I was strong enough to get up put the reason I fell behind me. It is then and only then can I see that I had fallen many times but the one time I could not get up I would be stuck in the circle. Running faster and faster trying to gain speed, trying to escape from the tornado the circle that continues to knock me down.

A month or so ago I understood the cause of my tornado, I had created this dust devil now the only one that can get me out is me. Once I fought to escape I found that all my other falls I suffered and could not stand up from I did stand as I fell but could not see it. It was that one fall that held me back now I am out. The further I walk away from the tornado the closer I get to understanding me the closer I get to acceptance the better I become. Until next year when I am reminded of that green coloured picture of the brain I will see that all the times I did fall I got up stood tall to face my next hurdle. I know that I fight hard each day. My wife reminded me the other day how I fight so hard.

Perhaps to those that too have fallen not only to a brain injury but to whatever it was that knocked those down they can see that however difficult it was to get up after that fall they have stood up as I have.

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