Still the Same but So Different

Have you ever sat late in the evening (or extremely early in the morning) quietly on your own thinking about your life? You cannot sleep you are now awake-very awake you walk to the kitchen make a cup of coffee. Quietly as you sit away from the family your mind races from wherever to nowhere. It drifts as if it were the last leaf blown from the tree that gave it life. The strong wind is blowing you this way and that up and down you drift to a place you have never been before.

In a crazy moment you shake your head and snap from your wonderland journey, one which has made no sense at all really you were just gone you had just been blown from your tree the place you knew so well. Now though you are back you lean forward to take a sip of your steaming hot coffee you had just made. It’s cold as ice what the fuck you say to yourself I only drifted for a few seconds.

How long is a few seconds is it a week, is it a year, is it a few years or is it most of your life. A second could be half your life. Think about it close your eyes and think what you did on your 21st birthday. Told you didn’t I- how long did it take you to think with true clarity of that day of a few moments or maybe just one moment a highlight maybe that night you got laid for the first time. You won’t forget that night will you didn’t think so. I do have a good excuse though and I am sure many of you also have perhaps it was about ten too many beers or the Tequila shooters that blew out most of the evening.

I have no freaking clue what I did on my 21st and it does not matter because my son Keegan gave that memory back to me. I sat proudly next to Ange that night watching him enjoy that great moment in his life it was as if I was having my own 21st . I will take that any day just being there not for me but for him. Imagine his speech standing up telling everyone to enjoy the evening telling his friends as he slurs to not make him too drunk, laughing and joking-awesome! Now imagine that I had not made it that lonely night the night that I fell but I didn’t get up imagine how his speech would have turned out from happiness to tears about his dad that is not there wow!

Was that where I went as I blew from the tree as I drifted though half my life without knowing it. Enough of this quite cool evening and so you pick up a remote to break the silence. A song plays it wasn’t planned but here it is. Now you once again drift your mind goes back to where this song became a song you will never forget the day it played for the first time and the many, many days it plays in your memory. This time though things are so different you are conscious of those many great moments those many great memories. Wow you now think to yourself those were great times

Suddenly you think to yourself but I am still the same I still love that song and tonight it has told me that it is giving me another memory long into the future it will play again and take you back to this moment and many like it.

It is the same with me, tonight I was in that place drifting except there were no memories of my life I just knew that as Bob Segar sang one of his all-time favorites which Is one of mine too “still the same” there have surly been many great moments. My story is still the same but so, so different.

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