Forgetting to live

Forgetting to Live

It’s now late in the afternoon the day has been long and tiring it really feels as if it has just begun I am finished. Yesterday was amazing it started early I was out in the morning sun and I ran. I didn’t run far just a short round the block quickie. I got home to now start the day I was back at my office early, too early before Corona had hit us too early for the office. Too early a few months ago but now my day has changed I work from home. I work from home but the work load has seemed to increase. I have a quick breakfast with my favourite coffee in hand I walk to my desk. A few steps away I am in the office this is an amazing feeling to actually take a minute to make coffee and be able to sit at my work station with no other distractions.

As I now sit at the dining room table-now my office table behind my computer I smile just because my work load has increased weird yes. I smile because I do not have to face that Two hour congested road and fight all the others who themselves are racing to get to the office early as they could not complete yesterday’s work. Now all of us fight and stress before our work can begin. I left my comfort of home five odd minutes late and as it seems so did the rest of Fourways.

I haven’t even gotten to the office and I am irritated and tired how I am actually going to get through the fucking day. It is so early and already I am swearing like a trooper. Fuck, fuck, fuck. There I go again oh well it is what it is I can do nothing about this I must just take it calm and get through this mess but seriously what a fuck up. So much for getting to work early. So much for completing yesterday’s work. I didn’t complete it for one reason to leave the office before the fucking mad rush again to just get home irritated and fucked up. Fucked up because once again so did the rest of Fourways. I know once I am home I am behind with work again and once again the day will start crazy and insane before I even get to work. I will have the fucking boss on my back and all those irritating colleagues which sit far too close to MY desk. When will it ever end?

What am I saying why I am so irritated today yes it is late in the afternoon and I do feel irritated this isn’t as it used to be there has been no traffic. Today I am way ahead I have met my target there is no boss or the irritating colleges as usual so what, why, where did I go wrong?

Today is just fine I don’t have to take the five minute walk to get outside to have a ciggie or shit in those disgusting toilets. I light up a smoke right at my desk walk a few steps and shit in my own toilet.

Did I forget about the craziness of the traffic and the congested roads-and the irritating boss did I?

I did I forgot I now see my kids all day even their shouting and running around my desk asking dad, dad can we please can we is great.

I know what it is

I forgot how good it is now.

I forgot to live, I just forgot.

 

 

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