It Is What It Is

It Is How It Is

My day generally starts early in the morning. Most mornings before the sun rises I have been up a while already. For the past three days I have not been able to get out of bed though…depressed and sad I have been feeling down and out.

Once again for the umpteenth time I decided that I do not need my medication so I did not take my daily dose. Yesterday whilst laying down I thought that perhaps it is because of me not taking my tablets that I am feeling down. You think! In my mind my chronic medication was to stabilize my moods-my outbursts. Well it is to stabilize my moods I guess that includes depression.

There are two common reasons a person with a TBI dies one is another fall due to their balance, which I feel I am aware of and have put in a plan of action for. This is my tuck and roll action which has worked well for me in the past. The other is depression this is the sad factor depression is real. My meds I should take on a daily basis combats this and now hopefully for the last time I will take each and every day.

I do not want to feel how I have felt for the past three days it’s not good for me and it is not good for Ange. I guess it is times like this right now where I can re-read my blog post and have another wow moment-keep taking my medication. It is what it is I have a TBI and part of my recovery is to continue with my meds. So I will I have to and I am going to.

I got up this morning and ran 5 km because I wanted to. I wanted to because I saw me over the past three days and did not like what I saw. I feel great now that I have understood a little more. I will take the past few days and work harder to be better.

I can and I will I will because I want to.

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