Memories

Ange and me are on our way back from the shops a new song starts playing. Within a second i know exactly which song it is all the words and the artist. I sing along Ange looks at me and comments how she says? How do you know every word to this song she then tells me the last time she last heard this song was like never.

Ange then talks with sadness about our wedding day she says that why can i remember this song but not one moment from that special day. Well i say i remember everything from our wedding-i have the video and i often watch it. When the neuro specialist first told me i had lost most of my long and short term memory i said that’s impossible i remember plenty of my life. Tuns out he was pretty correct all the memories i do have as i would figure out later were pictures stored on my laptop.I was just remembering seeing a picture of my past not of the actual moment.

I figured this out when Ange dropped me off at my parents early into my recovery she had to go on a conference and felt the safest place for me to be whilst gone was at my mom and dad. Seeing my parents i knew them and i immediately recognized them so all was fine. The next morning Ange would leave once she left darkness surrounded me a void overcame me i was alone with two strangers. I cried and i cried for many days. i had no clue who these people were there was not one memory of my life with them in it.

My mom came and sat next to me she put her arm around me and i eventually stopped. I guess deep down the connection was still there this was my mom our souls are connected forever. Still to this day i have no memory of growing up.

Music is a memory on its own i remember many, many songs mostly old seventies rock classics i know the tune and words but there is not one single moment linked to it no picture-nothing, zip…strange real strange. Oh well all is good i will make new memories.

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