Life Now

Life Now-My Life

This year on the 12th August it will be four years since that devastating afternoon. Not for me but for the people close to me. The greatest effect is that of my wife Ange, Ange feels every part of the new me the good but mostly the difficult. I have no memory of that day or most of my life also yesterday is mostly a mystery. This is my story after a few years of how a brain injury affects those close to me.

As I said yesterday is mostly a mystery my life is a mystery mostly the only time when I understand I carry the invisible injury is when I am at Headway, my rehabilitation centre. I know there will be the amazing volunteers, staff and friends that will read this post they will probably try convince me otherwise of what I will talk and say in the following paragraph. And of course my beautiful Ange that will sit me down and gently try to convince me otherwise.

Headway is the closest I have to a place where everyone understands me and my injury. I do get that it is good for me to attend each and every week I also get that Ange sees its value. For me Headway is becoming difficult as it is a constant reminder of my brain injury. I am being constantly reminded of this and it does make me sad. In saying this I would like to try get rid of the sadness. Perhaps I can go once a month for a few months Ange can then see if it is affecting me in a bad or a good way.

The positive side of the new me is that I now live my life to the fullest I feel the morning sun rising and I watch it set. I do not drink each day mostly a couple of beers with my wife on a Friday just to celebrate the start of the weekend and that she has indeed got through another week. I keep myself busy with my beads I am also evolving in this as I now have started with beading out 3d models of nature trees have been my first project. I sell my beads which can now bring in a salary- okay perhaps only R500-00 per month but it is a start.

I have run the New York marathon and I have been interviewed to once again participate this year training another that carries the invisible injury. The ultimate goal is to get him over that finish line which I will do I know I will. This challenge is extremely important for both me and Nick so we hold thumbs each morning as we wake. I have ridden the 94.7 race and loved the participation. I receive training for my recovering body from Justin who through his trust TNT pays and help me to achieve many goals.

I have written a book which will be launched in April. These are just a few of my achievements and I do know there will be many more. The down side of my brain injury is that there are many, many days where I destroy Anges feelings and once again place that heavy weight upon her shoulders. My injury will never “completely heal”as this is how I now am but I do get stronger. I do not get through one night’s sleep but this is okay for as I understand I just get more of life.

Any way no more blah, blah I feel I am strong and I love life. This is now me this is the new Bevan besides Ange is my strongest support structure. I am a better person and I understand how I hurt Ange so by understanding this is for me is a good thing and a positive part of my growth I am becoming stronger each day.

This is me this is the new Bevan.

 

 

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