Looking Seeing

Looking Seeing

I was recently at the farm I was there to just see that my dad is okay and getting through this traumatic time he is having. As I sit on the patio overlooking the Lowveld I see a small pointed shadow rising up standing out on the horizon. This is the roof at Kringat our first home which was built by my grandfather oom Corrie many, many years ago. I take a drive to Kringat to just see if I can recall a memory or ten well just one will be amazing. I arrive at Kringat I look at it but I do not see it.

Eventually after standing still and quiet I decide I shall walk closer I shall investigate I shall find something that comes back to me there must be a great memory which will be summoned from the abyss. I shall walk around the house which has no corners and I will find that one memory-just one. I have spent many weekends and holidays here I have grown up here in the bush amongst the Marula trees. I walk and I walk around and around there is nothing just somebody’s home which now stands lonely and empty. I then look down as I walk around and around I am becoming sad and frustrated but then as if a light switch is turned on there it is a light a smile a great smile.

I smile for it is not that of a memory but that of names, names and dates which are imprinted into the concrete forever. These names have been scratched into the concrete whilst still wet and now dry they will remain undisturbed for an eternity. I see all our names but there is one name which stands out it shines and speaks to me. BERYL… wow there is my mom now etched in my memory forever. I now have the ability to create new memories most of the memories of my life have been placed into the Abyss but there are a few which make an appearance for a second or two today though there are none of my past which come back to bring a smile. There are none but I know they are there for my name and others who are close to me are there too so I know I was there and I know we had great times right here amongst the Marula trees. After my accident I am beginning to hold bits of my recent past it seems my mind is opening up to allow me to remember who I now am. I will remember all these new bits.


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