Bevans Brain

Bevan’s Brain…

Evolution: growth, advancement, rise, progress, progression, expansion, extension

Yip as the heading suggests I am not the same as most people my explanation is that I have evolved; I have been able now to live two lives in the same body in one life. Strange as it may seem its true- true to me at least I am happy and most of all I am alive. I feel I have evolved I can now understand my mistakes and try as best as possible to eliminate those mistakes of the past to better myself.

There is no brain injury which is the same each injury carries their own scar. The brain is an extremely difficult part of our body to understand, years ago I would have been written off and would have probably been admitted to some kind of psyche ward. I understand that I am not all there or as I joke to people as I try explain my injury what a TBI is I just say ‘my lift does not go all the way to the top floor- the lights are on but no one is home.’

I am not ashamed of who I am yes there are changes and they are not all good in fact there are many difficult times I or mostly my beautiful wife has. I say my wife as I don’t fully understand myself one hundred per cent but my wife sees the changes and Ange is the one which has to live with the difficult infant once home from work or in her quiet times. As the neuro surgeons best explanation is “your brain has become an infant again and is trying to understand life.” I am not ashamed of who I am I know I can be difficult I know Ange has to deal with the new Bevan but in truth there are many better parts of me. I do apologize to Ange often for my shitty behaviour but once I have explained a few minutes later I have forgotten the testing time I place unintentionally upon her shoulders. Mostly I get frustrated with those close to me I now like things to be done my way and this puts an enormous load upon Anges shoulders. The other day I apologized how I react to Terri- Anges mom I know people are set in their ways and I do know how much Terri has helped us and for that I am and will always be truly grateful.

I apologise to everyone who I have harmed or shouted at I am just trying to understand myself and life. I am healing and I am becoming strong I will get far in my life I also do know that I am a different person or as my wife says same, same but different. Thank you Ange for being so strong and for helping me grow. I love you dearly.

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