Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland

Falling down a rabbit hole coming out on the other side in a new unknown adventurous world wow! Sounds like a great outcome for falling down a rabbit hole. For me though the rabbit hole was that idiot knocking me down forcing me into a coma and the unknown world was the bed in the Oliver Tambo ward at the Milpark hospital and years of knowing nothing at all. Not a world of fun although I do not have much memory of the first two years so all is just fine. I guess it was just my adventure opening up to become a life time way of living. Each and every day is a new adventure for most of my memories of yesterday are summoned to the deep, dark abyss. Now as I awake in the bright beautiful morning I start to wonder what is today, what happens today, who am I what happened yesterday?

There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is certainly not the train the light is that small bits of my memory is there for instant the story of Alice I do know in her adventure the animals talk and at the end of the day there is a good outcome for her. Beyond that there is nothing, no specific details almost similar to when I close my eyes and try think of a colour there is no colour I cannot close my eyes and think in colour, I cannot describe this loss of sensation if one can call it that “thinking in colour” a sensation. This for me is a fact that I only realised towards the end of last year we were told at rehab to close our eyes and think of a pink elephant and so for me there was no freaking pink elephant and realising this for the first time was quite a sad moment.

Well once again my rabbit hole is dark and cold no magical colours no talking animals ( thank goodness for that if there were talking animals in my world I would be in a strait jacket in a mental institute) I am okay with my life I would just like to get some more moments back, the new moments of yesterday for this is my new life now and I would like to have great memories to fall back on.

 

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