TBI Atom Bomb

TBI Atom Bomb

Once again this invisible injury takes me and all those around down in an instant… boom! And all is over there is no time to stop the launch once the button has been pressed it’s over. I do have grounds to stand on though I am not always in the wrong but it is the way I handle the issue which is devastating. As my beautiful wife says “crazy eyes” yip my eyes seem to go to a different zone they expand and for a moment have other weird bizarre features.

In life we all have issues which need to be sorted out but for me they need to be sorted out right now. When I ask someone a simple question which needs a simple answer and they try to talk circles around me that does not work. Many times I am actually correct and all I need is an answer and if the answer is not what I need it to be- which is the truth I explode. Perhaps I should just take a step back and say; “sorry but that is not good enough:” You think that happens- not a chance. Once the bomb has been launched I have to get away fast or there will be more- lots more. Recently I have been able to understand my launch procedure and I understand this is not the correct way in which I should handle the situation but when I get screwed around there is no return, ask my TBI brain it knows and tries to rule me. TBI will not destroy me it shall not break me I am stronger and I am beating this invisible injury. Slowly and small steps is the only way if I try to leap forward a bit I just get slammed down again. I then need to rest and try build myself up again which is extremely difficult.

Am I so wrong by getting emotional about certain issues I don’t think so. What really gets me down though is when people that know I have a brain injury just think I know nothing and make decisions for me. I say this but I do understand it is extremely difficult for them to deal with me for they do not actually know how to or understand that TBI is just an injury not a disease. My wife on the other hand knows all about TBI Ange has researched it and really understands me. It still hurts when people think I am brain dead or should be seen and not heard or should have nothing to say…ever.

Yes I have a TBI but I am alive and I am a person and actually I know and feel a lot more than the ordinary person. I am not a cockroach which will sit in the corner of a room not now and not tomorrow.



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