In My Life

In My Life

In my life I’ve loved you more, and to know that it would last forever. A song which came to mind a few moments ago so now I quickly take out my laptop and scribble a blog to remind me to Google the actual lyrics  later once I re read  this post. Perhaps it will bring back some much needed memories.

Ange created the blog mybrokenbrain.co.za for this very reason so when I have moments such as this I could write down a story of the memory just brought back and perhaps later as I read what I had written down it will bring back more memories. My TBI robbed me of most my life I now live a new life a new beginning. I live this life as best as I can as I do know that someday I will be at deaths door- again for the second time. I do know he will open it and grab me quickly so that I do not escape as I did before. So writing was supposed to bring back pieces of my past life but it has not, there is nothing not even small bits. Confusion ruled the last two years I thought there were indeed memories but recently I had figured out that all the memories I thought I had of my past are in fact pictures I have recently glanced at, pictures of good times I had shared with family and friends.

In our life we can always do better or do a certain day, week even year in a different manner but in truth what is done is done there is no turning back the clock. That day or moment will stay as a memory or perhaps there is a picture taken in a good moment which one can look at and then relive that memory which is a blessing even if unaware of it just ask me and I will tell you all about it. I sit here and try think back of two special people I have lost in my life- my dearest mom and a good friend Derek and I wish there are more memories I can retrieve from the deep, dark abyss.

This is okay as I have plenty of photos taken and now I can look and see what I do not know when I talk to those close to me I can get a nice story of those I have lost. My advice to all – take photos each day so that a memory can be relived and enjoyed.

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