Dear Mom

Dear Mom                                                                                                                                  09-09-2017

 

Last night as usual I did not have much sleep I tried but just couldn’t compliments of my brain injury. My first year after my accident I could only manage ten or so minutes an hour as you know too well once awake I would lie quietly and watch the movement of the stars. I could tell the exact time by seeing where they were positioned I would just watch in awe as our earth floated silently through the dark but beautiful universe.

Recently though I have a far bigger issue than a broken brain as I was thinking about all the times we recently spent together and our daily chats this was one thing since my accident which I never allowed my broken brain to deny me of was a telephone call to you. If I had not called you by twelve o clock it was as I was in pain and I did not want you to hear how I was hurting. I knew you would call in any way after the second or third time I had not called by twelve you had picked up that I was delaying our conversation as my body would be hurting. As soon as I said hello you knew straight away that I was not feeling too good. We were so close and so connected I always felt safe and at ease speaking to you.

I now call daddy most days but it is just not like it was with you I love my father more than anything or as you would say more than all the stars but there is just a huge void in my life now I feel empty and kind of alone without you. As you know I am now training for the New York Marathon I run six to thirteen kilometers each day I also ran to Cammy which was a quick twenty six kilometers. I don’t understand the distance I just run and talk to myself continuously. The other day though whilst running I thought I should start talking to you instead and it felt like our usual cell phone calls I felt warm and secure I felt you as I always have.

I would just like to say that I miss you more than all the stars but I know that you lived your last days with daddy in absolute harmony and you were so happy. Now as I glance above us into the unknown I see you all over as bright as all those sparkling stars. Mom I will miss you for the rest of my life and we shall catch up later be safe it won’t be too long and we shall be together again.

Love you always mom

Your dearest Bevan.

 

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