TBI and Chocolate Ready

TBI and Chocolate ready

I am Bevan I injured my brain and now live with a TBI, for all those of you not sure of what TBI is or means I shall explain how it is for me I have now taken this unknown phrase on as a challenge in my rebirth. I will talk to the world of how any  person can be caught up in its web in an instant whether they or their partner have  a TBI as it affects both of them. Just the next morning as you wake – before you are really awake you gently reach to one side to touch the love of your life to feel there warm body, to feel their rhythmic heart beat dancing away in their own quiet place not truly realizing that your love is now a slightly different person they had a fall and injured their brain they now live with a TBI (traumatic brain injury). It is not a disease or sickness one cannot catch it and live in depression for the rest of their lives one does not have to be scared of TBI it is just an injury somebody sustains yes all be it to the brain but it is just an injury.

So as you reached over to feel the love of your life lying warmly next to you they are not their again they have been up and about for many hours now walking aimlessly around in their own world listening to the quietness of darkness feeling her magical powers and healing in peace. About a week of normal sleep in two years has now become my new normal I am now in my world. So I write and I write right now as I tap away placing words onto a screen it is four in the morning and I have been wide awake for over two hours already listening to the quiet of the night skies. This is truly a wonderful place and time for me now. Before my accident though it would have been another nightmare being relived over and over no sleep – again but now it is my place of quiet and safety.

Yes due to the injury to my brain I cannot walk quietly in the darkness to the toilet I stumble and bump into obstacles which aren’t really obstacles as the dresser which is in the same place it has been for many years has not moved on its own in the evening so now I do not understand this and attack it as if it has been placed there by the demons of my mind and of course I lose this battle again for this dresser is strong is made from solid wood and I now walk away with another broken toe or one less toe nail. This is just fine I accept it and do know that my injured toe shall heal as it has healed many times in the past and I know that if I feel the agonising pain I am still alive. Perhaps tomorrow evening I shall remember where all our furniture is and tip toe quietly to one side, or perhaps not doesn’t matter I have a lifetime to figure this small piece of life out for I am alive and that is the great gift I have been blessed with.

I now have to wear glasses for my brain struggles to pick up the neurons sent to it through my eyes but I forget to wear them only many hours later do I see them placed next to my side of the bed and remember that I now in fact wear glasses. Once I place them over my eyes does the world start becoming clear again clear and precise, this is also just fine for my amazing wife comments that I look handsome and intelligent well I am intelligent for even though my brain has lost part of its left frontal lobe it has found new ways to work figured out other pathways to keep me very ordinary to allow me to do the small things again it is a battle but I am strong and will win all the battles I have to now face.

One of my great challenges is understanding that chocolate is nice and amazing to eat but it is just a treat I cannot live on chocolate alone I would if I could for I love this delicacy it brings great joy so after my accident I am now chocolate ready and love life.

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