Tired but Alive and Strong

My Broken Brain

My therapists at Bio Kinetics have taken me to a new level a more difficult place training now to complete the New York marathon in November, I have to be pushed to places I did not know about so that this man who now bears the scar of the unseen injury can and will complete this great challenge.

Now I am on a new journey a journey to show all that a broken brain is not the end for me or not the end for every great person who has fallen to this dark giant and that life truly is just that life. We do not carry a sickness or plague people do not have to fear our injury it is not contagious we are just injured and are healing. I want to show the world that although TBI is so difficult and hard to deal with it is not the end and we are as ordinary as the next person who walks freely past us to the corner shop or jogs around the block to keep in shape. I will show all that I too will run to the shops and be able to work again.

We are actually so much stronger than before our injury took grip of our life we are even though now it takes so much longer to  get out of bed in the middle of the evening and gently and quietly make our way to the toilet as nature calls and we have to abide or else. So unknown to all we struggle to get to the loo and we say nothing of how difficult it is as we are embarrassed to do so as a quick toilet break is now an epic struggle a journey into the abyss. I say we but I talk about me and just assume there are others who struggle as I do.

The old Bevan has gone and is never coming back the new one has to be strong so much stronger to just get through one single day so I say that I am stronger than ever before and the last week that I struggled to just be happy has been extremely difficult. I now spend two full days a week alongside others who themselves were knocked down by the giant dark TBI and this I feel is sapping all my spare energy I do realise this is necessary for my recovery but it is extremely difficult to just do simple tasks but if it weren’t difficult it would not be worth it so I get on with it and just do it just because I choose to. When I do complete the marathon I will know once again that through all of life’s great beauties we must be aware of the dark monsters which hide in the darkness and wait to pounce at every chance they get but they must just know they have grabbed me once and I fought back hard and hurt them and I will not go down again, they may try again many times but they shall never succeed for i am so much stronger and fight even harder now.

My brain may be broken but I am not and I love life’s great challengers all of us should take the knocks on the chin and stand up to fight harder and be stronger if we do not no one will do it for us and we shall fall and become lost forever- everything is okay I have found a way. Besides I am part of a great clan from the Isle of Skye.

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