Feelings of Life

Feelings of Life

Doctors tell me I am so lucky to have survived my accident and be able to walk, talk, see and, and, and I can go on for a while but the fact is I am lucky I am seriously lucky to even be alive. What is luck though is it luck that I am alive and live with a broken brain, is it luck that I cannot work anymore, is it luck that I need to be at rehab four times a week is it luck that I am not allowed to walk to the shops on my own or even leave the premises for fear of a number of bad things that could go wrong is it luck that I have extremely limited memory of my life or what happen an hour ago is it luck that I do not understand emotions? Is it is it really luck that I am alive?

The answer for me is a big fat YES! I don’t believe the word lucky is correct though it is a great word to describe certain good fortune it is indeed lucky for a person to win a raffle or a prize but for me I would use a different word one that supersedes that of luck I am not sure of that word and I would be hesitant to use one word only for I believe there are a number of words to describe the recent events which have taken place in my life. A few come to mind;

  • Strength
  • willpower
  • motivation
  • love
  • life

There are many low points in my life but strangely many of my low moments have nothing to do with me it is others that bring on thoughts and low moments for me and I guess I just need to be able to be less judgmental of those issues I have. In a nut shell I would be extremely expansive on my thoughts now and say that it is really the human race which I cannot understand too well anymore. I seriously thought they were so much better than what they are, just the small ways in which they just do not care or maybe the way they think which is so depressing or is it just me that has returned to this modern world after a lengthy journey to the great beyond to find that things are not the same any more the human race has lost their vibe ,they are too fearful to step outside their box.

I now spend two days a week at rehab and I see the staff there, I see humans who actually care and give, they give so much it is amazing, they give and expect nothing in return just a smile and a happy face now and then. Wow volunteers and staff who help others to heal that for me is an eye opener that for me is a great story I would like to say to youngsters; to stand up in front of a school hall and tell all the young minds of the greatness certain people give out, to tell them all to never give up on lending a helping hand and when they do this to expect nothing in return.

I now see life through different eyes they are fresh and I seem to have a different outlook but having said this I have saved the life of an elderly woman before, I did not have too I just did I went out of my way to help it took a lot from my day and cost me, I put my job on the line but I did it I have done many other good deeds too which did not cost a cent just good will so what I am saying is that I will do so much more now than before just because I can and I want to and maybe it will give off good vibes and I will influence others to do the same and bring back a bit of greatness to the human spirit.


There are a few unanswered questions I think about;

Do people actually give a damn anyway?

Do we really care about our neighbour or a friend in need or a brother or sister who is hurting?

Do we really have or make time for someone we do not know too well to help them?

Do people actually go out of their way for someone else or do they just do the things that they are comfortable with. Why should we care anyway why should we go out of our way and expect no reward or monetary gift in return. Why?

Do people actually know what they have got what they are thank full for? Does it even matter?

Chase away a family of Crested Barbets which are about to nest in the garden because you don’t see them does it matter?

Maybe it is just me and I should not care so much and just get on with life.

All these strange questions I have are mostly unanswered and do not need to be answered they may just be unanswered solutions. I also think that I do take little issues in too deep with too much feelings attached to them I need to let go a bit and not worry about how others choose to live their life or the effect it has on others    .

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