Time Off

Time Off

I sneaked outside the boundaries of our garden to surprise my beautiful wife I walked a few blocks up the road today to meet Ange before she would get home from a hard day at work. I had planned to surprise her before she got home. Yes right Bevan plan to surprise someone… I just have to wake in the morning and that’s a surprise I think in recent years I am the surprise champ, every day for Ange there is a surprise package which unfolds and unfolds and unfolds. Anyway I would walk a couple of blocks away from our home up the road in which she uses to drive home I would wear my luminous T shirt just in case Ange was speeding and did not see a crazy man just standing around Ange would never speed anyway just saying, so off I go as I leave our home I turn on our alarm and I have my keys, the gate is remote controlled so I press the button the gate closes and all is good. My plan is to just walk three or four blocks up the road so if a problem arises I am pretty close to home and still in a safe zone. Actually in the real world I just left my safe zone as I closed the gate so I am now in dangerous territory this is unknown to me and everything is good in my mind what can actually go wrong anyway.

I walk about half a kilometre up the road as I pass the first intersection I wonder if I should wait here in case Ange takes a slightly different route home, no she wouldn’t I know her route…I walk to the next road and sit down on the pavement where Ange will easily spot me. And I wait and wait. Whilst I sit minding my own business I start to notice everyone getting home and this weird feeling grabs me, I haven’t driven home now for years and I try understanding the feelings on each motorist face who slowly passes me in the queue and stops at the stop street as they return home to their family, I see all the expressions on the motorist’s faces the stresses and the joys of coming home from work, I have walked across the boundary and I am now in Houghton I am between the large gardens and high walls as these new vehicles stop and go I realise there are very little smiling or joyous facial expressions just a continuous flow of stress, anger and sadness. Wow I think I have been sitting here a while now and there are very little happy people here, I feel disappointed and kind of sad.

Why do I feel all this sadness whilst watching ordinary people getting home, perhaps because I have not worked for the second year now and I just have forgotten what it is to bring in money for food and clothes to wear or seeing people getting home from work to their loved ones is difficult or perhaps it is all the frustration and sadness I see amongst all these beautiful gardens? I see something else I see the joys we all expect that plenty money will bring is not there it isn’t even close by for all these big expensive vehicles transport sad and grumpy faces sadness streams through these roads like an iron marble being thrown out of the hands of the master to now roll aggressively towards a beautiful pile of glass balls and to crash to its resting place to break the beautiful home of the steel marble into many pieces and win the prize… Meanwhile I feel people miss out on daily events which is life actually, coming home each evening should be great and happy I would choose that every time over plenty wealth but that is just me knowing what I know and what others will never know. Strange that a brain injury can bring so much great joy for me knowing that R1000-00 rand for me is such a blessing that I can do so much with it and also be so happy with nothing.

Might be that perhaps people need to take some more time off from the hustle and bustle of work and spend more time relaxing with a loving partner or a great family yes less money will be earned but I feel one will appreciate and love life so much more. For one day whilst thinking of how to spend all the well-earned cash and to treat the kids and wife or husband, the kids are old and have moved to another country and you haven’t actually seen them in five years and the loving wife or husband has forgotten who their loving life partner actually looks and smells like and ten years has eaten away the actual beauty of life… time off might be a great idea more often…time – tick, tick, tick, ring,ring, ring it’s my cell on the other side a worried voice; ‘where are you?’ Oops i have been waiting on the wrong road.

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