I Just Make Believe

I Just Make Believe

Whilst driving down to the Midlands with my good friend Jason for two days to give him a hand as  he entertains and sings with his amazing strong voice to all the brave athletes before they set out to conquer the Midmar mile but I am feeling sad and alone as I have left the love of my life at home we are always together and being apart will be lonely but before I leave I asked Ange to allow me to go as this short time apart will be good for us and I also need this so I can grow and become strong. Whilst driving the two of us talk and talk well he drives and I mostly talk. Slowly my voice is silenced by his heavy sad expressive flow of hidden hurt, pain he now openly talks about I then realise I have unlocked the steel suit of armour which he wears tight and securely fastened to him at all times this is his way of protecting himself. I see his strong fearless face breaking down slowly and secretly until the steel suit has disappeared and then I look deep into the heart of this warrior who has been right at my side through my time of need, he has stood proud and tall next to me without me ever asking him to he just does it because he can.

Jason talks openly to me about his feelings his deep feelings of all the great love which surrounds him now in his life he then also talks openly about all the pain and the heavy weight which have now been thrown right into their path. I then realise that this strong unbreakable man has for the first time in his life found a true love an amazing and strong woman who has the power to caress his inner spark which will allow him to be at peace with this fiery beast which throws him off balance. Now they are facing unchartered territory the road ahead is scary and painful and maybe Jason needed his good friend to stand at his side and help him to be strong. Jason would never openly ask for my guidance or   I know now that the two of us needed to be alone away from the love of our life to strengthen and guide each other through our own road which we have chosen to travel on. Once we return from our short trip we will both continue on our own journey face our own battles and get through hard and testing times alone but we will both conquer the many challenges placed before us because we walk side by side through the darkness which appears in an instant but we both know that we are actually never alone.

Jason and I have walked a long road together we both have adventurous spirits which keep us strong but it also tests our beautiful woman constantly and gets us into hot water as we would always try to conquer greater challengers unnecessarily. We seem to be connected in so many ways we are brothers from different mothers is one of our great sayings, before my accident we needed to understand that although we were so close we were hard work for the amazing two ladies we love. We failed on many occasions to respect and understand their feelings and would hurt them unintentionally. Now though after my accident the two of us have crossed a certain bridge which allows us to appreciate and respect them we now know that we have to put our beautiful woman first. I understand so much more now how one need to think more about the feelings of a loved one and the effect you have on another person because of your actions. I now know there are two special loved ones who keep Jason and me out of trouble and I will always put them first. The strong woman who fights her own battles alone for her own protection opened her door to let my good friend in to her life she has given my good friend so much in life I now see how his face lights up whilst he speaks of the love of his life and how he has grown strong to be a pillar of strength for three people who can rely on him now.

So as we drive down to Natal through thick mist I ask Jason how he is doing truthfully, I know that he is just fine but I ask him any way to see what answer I get as he has the most amazing outlook in life always so positive he replies;    I just make believe.


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