Wow Moment

Wow Moment

Last night I went to bed carrying a weight or maybe just a heavy heart possibly just emotions playing around with my tired body and mind, however no sleep no rest just a worried mind turning around in circles turning, turning, turning. Darkness was abruptly shoved one side to its lonely but busy place in our universe as the awesome morning sun showed its shiny face here again as always to wake us up with all its energy and might.

I recognise this beast the quiet one, the dark one, the one who does not allow me to rest my worried healing mind I know this dark engulfing hold it has on me for it lived in my world for far too long entangled me in its quiet web for over a year as I slowly healed from an even deeper sleep, it did not allow me to be free of worry and heavy feelings as I tried to rest. Never let me have more than two hours of quiet sleep whilst it should have, I know why now I know why for I am healing now and I seem to understand moments in a whole new world for me now after visiting the place I had to go to for a while so that my internal spirit could grasp and be inspired by the greatness of life. Now back in this world and strong again this beast quietly crept up to remind me of his power and the strong hold he had on me. He came to visit just to show me who and what he is and to remind me that he is in fact so much greater than I ever imagined and told me in his deep voice that I should be free of all the worries I cannot control for if I do not free those unimportant issues he shall be back many, many a time to teach me the lessons I seem to have forgotten. I did not forget I just had to be gently reminded so as his powerful arch enemy began to light up my beautiful world I told him to be gentle with me as I still do not know or understand my emotional surges yet and I gave him my word that I would try so much harder to be the best I can and to not put too much pressure on those close to me. I said to him that the pressure is unintentional and I feel so much of their pain and I am so very sorry but before I could finish he was gone and would not listen anymore well at least not now I know he will be back and maybe then we can continue or maybe he listened to me and he will leave me alone for a while.

The morning sun woke my love lying next to me Ange excitedly spurred me on to get ready for the day as we are back at Bio Kinetics where I will be able to confirm with my therapists that I am indeed ready to take on a great challenge the little run I will be doing in November and to also confirm that I had not been dreaming and this was indeed a fact. Ange and I walk into the well-equipped offices where I would for the first time in a while be inspired by this overwhelming WOW MOMENT! Ange points to their notice board there in the top right corner I read the three words written in black highlighted ink – BEVAN NEW YORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW! It is true I am certainly now starting my training not only to learn how to walk or run properly again but to complete a marathon. A marathon in New York the place I have wanted for so long to take my beautiful wife so Ange can live and experience one of her all time dreams to eat a hot dog in the streets of this vibrant beautiful city.

There will be no turning back now this powerful feeling which has been engulfing me has now become a reality. Now there are many mountains I have to climb to get us there which I will climb even if I have to climb all day every day I will do it, I do know that I have family and friends who have said to me they will help me to get there. I know my sister Nicole has already started and many friends too. I have to now appreciate these awesome people and allow myself to be strong to not feel embarrassed that so many people are helping me in such a wonderful way and just to accept their open hearts so that one day I too can help in any way I can when called upon to do so which I know I will. Thank you to all of you. Wow!

 

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