Faded Dreams

In my life before my accident I had always been able to remember most of my dreams, many dreams, also dreams of me being dead and wandering what people would actually say at my funeral and how I would be judged and if I would be missed by my beautiful wife and amazing children. Also wondering if I had lived my life well and what kind of a legacy I would have left. Honestly though hoping I would be missed and would leave a great legacy, weird that my death should mean more to me than actually being alive, Also that one of my all- time favourite song’s lyrics have words “the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had”.

I think my second chance I have been blessed with is now based on those dreams, except it is not the dying that were the best dreams I had that would drive me now it is the living. I now don’t dream as much as before, I guess it is my brain healing itself whilst I am asleep instead of before I was out on great adventures doing all things we want to do in life but cant, that’s okay because being alive is so awesome, every day is a new adventure with great obstacles challenging me continuously now, keeping me alive, keeping me adventurous filling my day completely.

Many thoughts cross my mind whilst looking through all the photos I have taken, all those awesome moments I now see in the pictures which I hadn’t really seen before, the places I had visited I can now reconnect with them and allow my mind to work and make the connections, the one sad part of those moments are too many times I seem to have been alone without the love of my life next to me so now I wish to explore further with Ang at my side so we can both share those awesome times together.

There is a certain photo I took, it’s part of the northern Drakensberg mountain range in the shape of a lion’s head with the sun setting in the background, this photo is actually very close to my heart as every time I was on that part of the road I would see this beautiful silhouette. I used to think to myself that everything will be okay as the lion is watching over me. I kind of had a connection with this part of the mountain range as if we could see each other or feel each other the – lion and I.

Well as it would be my accident happened on this road in the very same place where I had taken the picture of my guiding lion. This Is where I was left lying alone and broken, on the side of the road with the sun setting and the cold evening about to set in just outside the view of passing motorists, this was about to be the longest night of my life… “The dream in which I am dying was the best I ever had. “ These lyrics must have echoed loudly through my heart and mind to keep me strong as I have no memory of what happened or who found my broken body lying peaceful and still in the glistening last rays as the great lion claimed me and started to take full control of his night with a friend.

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