Where it started

Lying here on this rough, dusty strip of dirt was actually quite comfortable, there were beautiful sounds of birds chirping, singing and just talking amongst each other. All other sounds had faded away as if a cold wind had just gently pushed all disturbances to one side for a while so that I could purposefully enjoy what was so close to me. The sun was spewing the most beautiful rays of my favourite colour over my favourite section of the most northern point of the Drakensberg, which I and many others call lions head, but for once I now had to listen to be still for a moment and just listen and enjoy this moment.

 I suppose in my life I maybe had not really taken time to enjoy the beauty beside me or to just take a moment to actually listen and appreciate the comforting, loving and sensitive words from a loved one. Instead had been too worried about getting things done, things which didn’t really matter, they could be done tomorrow or the next day, instead the beauty which had been so graciously gifted to me had to be put second and wait until I had time for her.

So here I lay unaware of what had actually happened and what was actually going on, that warm feeling in my head, the cold wind, the beautiful peaceful sounds, the most amazing light and the comfort I felt laying lifeless on a stony surface was not an awesome comfortable bed I was lying in next to the love of my life it was my last moments, my body had been badly damaged from a serious motorbike accident, I  was lying on the side of the road bleeding out from various parts of me, mostly a serious head wound. Broken unable to move or speak this beautiful feeling free from pain must have been my deep self-preparing me to fight the biggest battle yet to survive on my own now and be fearless of all the pain about to overwhelm my body. This was my way of getting through the next tough moments, making me understand that life can be over so quickly and all the rushing would be for nothing, all the awesome people around me would be free of me. I got it; no longer shall I not listen to important words and give nothing of real value in return or be so distant I don’t see the beauty next to me.

A year later I am feeling amazingly alive, living with TBI is just fine I am now very alive! Now for the first time I live my life, loving and accepting all obstacles thrown unintentionally before me turning the mountain before me into an awesome and great road, kind of really understanding the awesome words my beautiful wife has kept whispering to me the way she lives her life which I before failed to really appreciate “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey.”

If you find yourself emotional whilst reading these words spare just a short moment to think of those close to me that carry this each day and know that I could not do this without them; they are my complete safety blanket and actually carry more pain than I could ever feel so this is for them.

 Thank you Ang

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2 thoughts on “Where it started

  1. Hello Bevan,
    Well done and I commend you for facing this next stage of your life with such a positive attitude. You are very lucky to have Angela at your side and also the love of your two children and both your parents, not to mention all your friends! ABI (Acquired brain Injury), as we call it here in New Zealand,…. takes time to repair, so with lots of sleep and rest, together with available therapy, the various areas of this complex organ will begin to heal. Always have faith and never give up. Remember, we all love you.
    Aunty Cheryl

  2. Hello Bevan
    Your story is absolutely incredible. We never knew what had actually happened to you when we saw Nicole”s posts on Facebook. We all said prayers and you were in our thoughts. Thank you for writing this blog it is so touching and explains so much about people in accidents. I think you must write a book.
    I was at Sandringham High School with Nicole and your family and mine were close friends with Rotary being a big part of our lives. We all send you lots of Strength.
    Lots of love Jeanette Dharma and family xxxxx

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